Friday, June 26, 2009

Obama Urges Congress to "Set an Example for the World to Follow" by Passing Critical Tooth Fairy Legislation

Washington, D.C.--President Obama has tried to convince the world that releasing terrorist detainees held at Guantanamo Bay doesn't pose a security threat, so other countries might accept them. He has also tried to convince the world that draconian steps should be taken to increase energy costs so emissions he claims increase "global warming" can be reduced worldwide.

But those efforts have met resistance overseas because Americans -- increasingly skeptical of their value -- generally oppose the release of Guantanamo Bay detainees into their own communities and legislation taxing domestic energy consumption.

Today, President Obama used what some called "his inherent moral authority" to prod Americans in a "new direction" by urging Congress to start "setting a better example for other countries to follow" by passing “essential tooth fairy legislation.”

"How can we expect the rest of the world to join us in pursuing bold, new, and untested policies aimed at making the world a better place if we don't do the same here at home?" asked Obama. “That's why I'm calling on Congress to set a new tone by passing legislation requiring all Americans to remove some of their own teeth and place them under their pillows so the tooth fairy can pay us a visit and boost the world economy."

One Administration official added, "If we can get other countries to trust our commitment to the tooth fairy and similar concepts, we'll have a much better chance getting them to pursue other apparently counter-factual policies."

"Americans have always been dreamers," said Obama at the conclusion of his remarks. "Congress needs to live up to that heritage and immediately pass tooth fairy legislation."

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