Saturday, June 27, 2009

Democrats Force Quick Vote on "Cap and Tax" Legislation, Citing an "Escalating Skepticism Crisis” Regarding Climate Warming Theories

Washington, D.C.--Democrats in Congress and President Obama forced swift action on a massive bill to dramatically increase energy costs in the face of what they called an “escalating skepticism crisis” regarding theories that claim human emissions are making the earth warmer.

“In Europe, Japan, and Australia, there is increasing doubt that drastic cuts in energy use are warranted, as the evidence of human-caused global warming proves lacking,” said Democrat Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “If we don’t enact draconian policies now, this window of misinformation might be closed forever.”

Proponents of the “cap and tax” legislation showed reporters a dire depiction of what could be “things to come” if misguided policies are not locked in place now: a lonely Al Gore, increasingly isolated on a twisted theory melting in the face of contrary empirical data.

As the earth’s temperature has flat-lined, even as concentrations of carbon dioxide increase, and research is contradicting what was previously claimed to be a consensus, Administration officials said “we must act now to increase energy costs based on extremely suspect environmental theories before those theories are completely refuted.”

Associated articles: London Times;;;;;