Wednesday, June 10, 2009

After Granting Terrorists Miranda Rights, Obama Authorizes Use of Lawyers to Act as Terrorists’ Human Shields

Afghanistan--After reversing a previous position in which he said terrorists should not be granted Miranda rights, President Obama took what national security experts say was the next logical step in his law enforcement approach to terrorism by authorizing defense lawyers to act as terrorists’ protective human shields.

Addressing reporters at a press conference to announce the new policy, Obama said “Under my Administration, we’ve already taken the step of advising terrorists of their right to remain silent and their right to consult an attorney. Today I build on that policy by announcing terrorists will have additional legal rights in the form of attorney human shields.”

Borrowing former Iraq dictator Saddam Hussein's strategy in which civilians were used to protect military targets from attack, Obama said he was adapting the tactic to “further the bedrock American principle that says everyone deserves a phalanx of lawyers.”

“The laws of war prohibit the targeting of civilians and don't afford captured enemy combatants the right to a lawyer,” said Obama. “If terrorists don’t follow the laws of war, we shouldn’t either. Hence, my policy of lawyers for terrorists.”

Administration officials added that the element of surprise is essential to winning the war on terror, and "the last thing terrorists will expect is that we’d surround them with civilian legal counsel."

When asked whether the new shield policy itself violated the laws of war, Administration officials said it did not, explaining that “technically, lawyers aren’t human.”

Associated article:; associated video:;,0,694540.story