Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Federal Authorities Move on Car Trunk Filled with Gasoline, Salt, and Private Health Insurance and Student Loan Papers

New York, New York--Federal authorities today took swift action to confiscate a "dangerous combination of contraband materials" packed in the trunk of a car parked in Times Square.

The trunk reportedly contained bags of salt for use in food preparation, health insurance, mortgage, and student loan papers provided through private companies, and a container of gasoline.

"These are all products the federal government has deemed unfit for use," said one federal official. "Thank goodness we got here in time."

The vigilant citizen who called the police about the suspicious car downplayed his role in averting disaster.

"I actually called because I saw smoke coming from the car next to the one they searched," he said. "But they said the smoke was probably just coming from some sort of jerry-rigged terrorist explosive."

Associated article: Weekly Standard

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