Thursday, April 1, 2010

Justice Department, NASA, Reveal April Fools' Jokes

Washington, D.C.--Attorney General Eric Holder and a top NASA official announced on April Fool's Day that they had each "pulled one over on the American people" by greatly exaggerating the number of terrorists who have been prosecuted in civilian courts rather than military commissions, and by compiling unreliable temperature data sets used by advocates of the theory that humans cause global warming.

"Okay, okay," Attorney General Holder said to reporters between laughs, "I told you hundreds of convicted terrorists had been prosecuted through the civil courts to justify my decision to try hard-core 9/11 terrorist Khalid Shaikh Mohammed the same way. But it turns out the vast majority of those I claimed were prosecuted terrorists were actually not members of foreign terrorist organizations engaged in plotting attacks, but rather other people who gave false statements to investigators, and even one animal rights activist who released minks from a Wisconsin farm!"

Holder was followed by a NASA official who announced between giggles that NASA had admitted in internal emails from 2007 that its temperature data sets were even less accurate than the now-discredited data sets from the Climatic Research Unit at the University of East Anglia that were exposed as having been manipulated to fit a preconceived theory. He concluded the press conference, saying "April Fools, everyone!"

Associated articles: Washington Times; Fox News

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