Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Janet "The System Worked" Napolitano Praises Anti-Terrorism Program Centered on Rabbits' Feet, Horseshoes, Four-Leaf Clovers

Washington, D.C.--After a bomb-wearing terrorist who managed to board a plane was thwarted by the bravery of private citizens and the fortuitous malfunction of an explosives detonator, Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano said "the system worked."

When asked how "the system worked" when the terrorist managed to board the plane with a bomb when his own father had previously called the U.S. Embassy to report his son's radical jihadist ideology, Napolitano pointed to what she called a "fail-safe series of rabbits' feet, horseshoes, and other good luck charms" designed to produce similarly fortunate results in the future.

"We're committed to investing whatever it takes in the latest dumb luck technology," said Napolitano, adding "We hope to have an entire field of genetically engineered four-leaf clovers by mid-year."

Associated articles: Politico; Washington Post; New York Post; Ruth Marcus; Weekly Standard

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