Monday, October 26, 2009

Yuppietariat Celebrates Revolutionary Cash for Golf Carts Program

The American yuppietariat has long fought against industriousness and personal responsibility, and today yuppies nationwide celebrated the ultimate culmination of that crusade in the federal "cash the golf carts" program.

Part of the "cash for clunkers" legislation, the golf cart scheme is the result of a federal credit that provides from $4,200 to $5,500 for the purchase of an electric vehicle, which can include road worthy golf carts with side and rearview mirrors and three-point seat belts under a related IRS ruling.

With golf carts now provided at taxpayer expense, yuppiecrats are finally liberated from the oppression of sloping hills and gravely terrain that has long "kept golfers down" by limiting their ability to squeeze 18 rounds into a single golf session.

Said one celebrant, "Finally, with this latest expropriation of private wealth, the yuppietariat can free itself of the alienation inherent in capitalism and become empowered to spend hours upon hours trying to hit a tiny ball into a small hole, over and over again."

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