Thursday, October 8, 2009

Tax Cheat Rangel Fends Off Challenge by 12-foot Alligator to Retain Tax Committee Chairmanship and "King of the Swamp" Title

Washington, D.C.--Rep. Charlie Rangel, the chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee who failed to pay taxes on millions of dollars he didn’t disclose, beat off a challenge from a 12-foot alligator to retain his committee chairmanship and the title “King of the Swamp.”

Following his victory, Rangel thanked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for “keeping the swamp filled” despite her earlier promise to drain it. He credited the “rising swamp line” with allowing him the extra buoyancy he needed to gain the upper hand over his giant reptile rival.

As Democrats in the House later voted down a Republican-sponsored resolution that would have ousted him from his chairmanship, a slime-drenched Rangel shook the bloody alligator carcass over his head and repeatedly screamed “I’m king of this swamp!”

Aides said Rangel looked forward to moving legislation that would increase taxes on the rest of the American people, remarking “It’s good to be the swamp king.”

Associated articles: AP;

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