Thursday, October 29, 2009

House Democrats Unveil Health Care Bill Cutting Billions from Medicare on Steps of Aztec Ziggurat

House Democrats today unveiled a 1,900-page bill to create a largely government-run health care system on the steps of an Aztec ziggurat formerly used for human sacrifice.

The Democrats had originally planned on making the announcement on the steps of the U.S. Capitol, but changed their minds after it was determined the bill would be paid for in part with $500 billion in cuts to senior citizens' Medicare program.

Organizers said the new setting was more appropriate, given the service restrictions such unprecedentedly huge cuts in Medicare would require and the health care rationing that would result from driving private plans out of business.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi spoke next to a statute on which the Aztecs placed sacrificial offerings to the gods before victims' bodies were hurled down a long stone staircase.

"Soon," she said, "there will be some new health care gods. They will be from the federal government, and they will be here to help."

Associated articles:;; Washington Post

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