Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Obama “Goes Postal” on Health Care Plan; Appoints “Strong-Willed” Former Mail Worker to Head Health Services Panel

Washington, D.C.--During a recent health care forum, President Obama defended his plan for a government-run health care option by comparing it to the U.S. Postal Service, which co-exists with FedEx and UPS. And today, Obama assured voters they had nothing to fear from a giant new medical bureaucracy by appointing as its head a former mail worker with a reputation for “strong-willed determination.”

“Bernie Lang is a twenty-year veteran of the U.S. Post Office and a ten-year veteran of the U.S. prison system,” said Obama of his new appointee. “As such, Bernie’s intimately familiar with the problems associated with large government-run organizations, and he knows how to cut through red tape. Even if it means going postal.”

In his own remarks, Mr. Lang noted that ”a government-run organization can be a frustrating place to work.” But he added that during his time in the U.S. Postal Service “when push came to shove, I had my Mauser BK-27 autocannon. I hope to bring that same leadership style to the federal health commission. It’s often the only way to get attention in a huge federal agency.”

Administration officials acknowledged the postal service has a monopoly on the delivery of first-class mail as well as the benefit of massive taxpayer subsidies, but still customers face long lines and the service can’t turn a profit, even while people are sending fewer messages through the mail. Even so, they said, “Our mail delivery system can serve as a model for health care, as long as we have someone like Mr. Lang at the helm who knows how to channel the rage generated by vast unresponsive agencies.”

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