Thursday, January 28, 2010

Doubling Down and Throwing Down on Radical Agenda, Obama Challenges Voters to Year-Long Rap Battle

Washington, D.C.--President Obama delivered what appeared to be the most aggressive State of the Union Address to Congress last night in an effort to revive his flagging policy priorities.

"The President has decided to challenge the entire American electorate to a year-long rap battle," said Administration officials shortly before the President began his remarks. "He's doubling down on his over-the-top agenda that's being dissed by the American people. So at the last minute the President decided the rap battle format made the most sense."

Obama's rhetorical change of tack was apparent as soon as he began the address. "The state of the union between myself and ever-lovin' bang-tastic sweetness is 100 frickin' percent total seamless overlap," he said.

"You want to slow down, I want to throw down, dogs" rapped the Pres. "You say it's too much to do, I say ram it through."

The sing-song back-and-forth went on for just under an hour, with the President only occasionally looking over his sunglasses.

"I'm a populist pugilist, so sit back and you'll get the gist. It's my agenda, ain't no pretenda. Surrenda to da big spenda!"

Associated video: YouTube; associated article: Associated Press

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