Monday, May 18, 2009

CIA Says It Briefed Pelosi in Form of Loud Heavy Metal Music “To Make Sure She Got the Message;” Pelosi Now Claims Briefing Was Accurate, But Torture

Washington, D.C.--After being accused by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi that it withheld information about the enhanced interrogation techniques used on known terrorists in 2002, the CIA revealed for the first time that not only was Pelosi fully briefed on the subject, but she was briefed in the form of a thunderous heavy metal song to "hammer home" the point.

The song, called "Waterboarding," was performed by the band Judas Priest and included the refrain: “What the terrorists knew they wouldn't say, so we had to find another way! Some may think it's uncouth, but it's time to flush out ... the ... truth! Wa-ter-board-ing! Wa-ter-board-ing!”

After the CIA released the video of the high octane performance, Pelosi contended the briefing itself constituted torture. “Sure, I was fully briefed,” she told reporters, “but they strapped me to an inverted sound board and drilled the information into my head with relentless ear-splitting vocals.”

Associated articles and video:;