Thursday, April 16, 2009

Wholesale and Retail Sales Plummet to – Aw, Lookit the Dawgie!

Washington, D.C.—Officials gathered in Washington yesterday to announce retail sales had dropped sharply in March and wholesale prices fell steeply amidst an incredibly cuddly ball of soft fur. Both pieces of data, just released by the government, underscored the absolutely adorable slog the nation faces to emerge from its deep recession. The stock market fell 2 percent, followed by the cutest little tail and an absolutely priceless bout with a chew toy. The Chairman of the Federal Reserve seemed almost at a loss for words in summing up the significance of the current situation, saying only “Portuguese … water … dog.”

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