ACLU Objects to Observance of "Moment of Awkward Silence" at Obama Cabinet Meetings

Washington, D.C.--The American Civil Liberties Union today announced it would challenge the observance of a "moment of awkward silence" during President Obama's cabinet meetings.

"We've become aware that not one, but several, moments of awkward silence have become a regular part of every Obama cabinet meeting," said an ACLU spokesperson. "We find that outrageous and an affront to our understanding of the Constitution. The president shouldn't be ashamed of his far-left agenda or its abysmal results."

According to the ACLU, "Whether it's the president's broken promises on closing the Guantanamo Bay detention facility or trials for terrorists in federal court -- or his administration's failure to implement a rational plan for economic growth -- Obama's articulated agenda should be met with rote acceptance by leftist ideologues, not awkward pauses."

A White House spokesperson dismissed those concerns, saying that recent cabinet meetings have been marked only by several "fleeting moments of passing clarity."

ACLU Changes Its Priorities After Private Citizen Posts Awkward Photos on Internet

The American Civil Liberties Union suddenly announced it was changing its legislative priorities yesterday to call for the increased use of secret government files on private citizens after awkward photos taken at its annual conference appeared on the internet.

"We are appalled that pictures of a sexual privacy breakout session were secretly taken by an attendee who posted them on the internet," said an ACLU spokesperson. The session was attended by several "furries" -- fetishists who enjoy wearing animal costumes -- and a dominatrix.

As a result,” said the spokesperson, “the ACLU is calling on federal law enforcement to increase the use of government files on private citizens so at least this kind of stuff will be kept in secret files."

Sources say another ACLU official was also left aghast when someone sitting at an adjoining table at the conference dinner took photos of him and immediately emailed them to a website called "Rate My Ugly Mug," where over 3 million people publicly graded his physical appearance as "vomit fuel" by the next afternoon.

Following these incidents, ACLU officials said they've come to realize that law enforcement officials generally have better things to do than waste their time conducting surveillance on innocent people whose activities won't help them develop the type of sound leads that will further their careers.

"The same can't be said for the vast numbers of prurient private citizens who thrive on exploiting ordinary people for their own amusement on the internet,“ said the ACLU’s chief privacy advocate. "We'll take the PATRIOT Act over publichumiliation.com any day."

Associated article: http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2009/09/nsa-email/