Friday, October 30, 2009
When asked why Americans should trust the judgment of a few government officials over that of private companies driven to satisfy their customers by the forces of economic competition, one net neutrality official pointed to what he called his “extremely spirited hat,” complete with Obama campaign buttons and a protruding stuffed donkey.
"We'll maintain a strictly neutral stance on internet access," he said, "guided only by the needs of our ideological and financial political base."
Associated video: CNBC; ReasonTV; The Blaze; associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Associated Press; http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703363704574503331828238574.html
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Democrats had originally planned on making the announcement on the steps of the U.S. Capitol, but changed their minds after it was determined the bill would be paid for in part with $500 billion in cuts to senior citizens' Medicare program.
Organizers said the new setting was more appropriate, given the service restrictions such unprecedentedly huge cuts in Medicare would require and the health care rationing that would result from driving private plans out of business.
Speaker Nancy Pelosi spoke next to a statute on which the Aztecs placed sacrificial offerings to the gods before victims' bodies were hurled down a long stone staircase.
"Soon," she said, "there will be some new health care gods. They will be from the federal government, and they will be here to help."
Associated articles: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/29/AR2009102901841_2.html?hpid=topnews&sid=ST2009102902154; http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703399204574505423751140690.html; Washington Post
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
"I used to think making fun of the Special Olympics was bad," said one teenager. "But if Obama's doing it, it must be poppin' slammin' off the hook!"
Other former "outs" that are now "in" include signing off on secret deals with drug companies, politicizing all aspects of the government, and playing lots of male-only basketball.
One style columnist described how Obama was greeted with cheers from reporters when he launched into an impromptu freestyle rap dissing the Dalai Lama between rounds of golf.
"When Obama went off on how the spiritual leader of a free Tibet should 'save the Lama for his Mama,' I knew we'd entered a new era of political chic," she said.
Associated articles: Washington Times; http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1009/28764_Page2.html; Politico 1
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Part of the "cash for clunkers" legislation, the golf cart scheme is the result of a federal credit that provides from $4,200 to $5,500 for the purchase of an electric vehicle, which can include road worthy golf carts with side and rearview mirrors and three-point seat belts under a related IRS ruling.
With golf carts now provided at taxpayer expense, yuppiecrats are finally liberated from the oppression of sloping hills and gravely terrain that has long "kept golfers down" by limiting their ability to squeeze 18 rounds into a single golf session.
Said one celebrant, "Finally, with this latest expropriation of private wealth, the yuppietariat can free itself of the alienation inherent in capitalism and become empowered to spend hours upon hours trying to hit a tiny ball into a small hole, over and over again."
Associated article: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704107204574473724099542430.html
Critics Worry Influence of Global Warming Religion on Congress Violates Separation of Church and State
"Opponents of this gospel are arguing the taxes it imposes aren't justified by science," said Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA). "But the bill doesn't impose taxes. It imposes a tithe."
Other defenders of the legislation argued for the immutable truths embodied in the bill. "This isn't about the scientific method," said Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA). "It's about natural law."
Associated article: http://www.crichton-official.com/speech-environmentalismaseligion.html; http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/6494213/Climate-change-belief-given-same-legal-status-as-religion.html
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Following Its Campaign to Promote Capitalism, US Chamber of Commerce Reminds Americans "Serfdom Sucks"
"We're just picking up on points made by Friedrich von Hayek," said a Chamber spokesperson, referring to the author of the 1944 classic "The Road to Serfdom," and winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics. Hayek famously pointed out that when government centrally enforces economic plans, individuals lose their capacity to deal with others on a mutually voluntary and beneficial basis that tends to satisfy everyone's unique preferences. And when government inevitably fails in fully achieving its stated goals, it demands more power, not less.
The education campaign includes medieval tapestries of serfs following the orders of their lords and reminds people that "Serfdom sucks."
Associated article: http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/oct/15/100-million-campaign-promotes-capitalism/
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Pollsters had been asking people whether or not they supported "the government's creation of a new health insurance plan to compete with private health insurance plans."
But critics pointed out that phrasing was misleading because the government would not compete with private plans, but rather impose restrictive fees and taxes on them, undercut their prices with taxpayer money, and eventually drive them out of business, leaving the government plan as the only one available.
As a result, pollsters came up with a shorter, more accurate polling question that shows clear majorities supporting a "magic pixie dust" option over "hard reality."
Associated articles: TIME; http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/25/AR2009102502041.html
American economists favoring government-planning policies failed to predict the remarkably swift collapse of the “Obama merchandise bubble,” leaving hapless investors stuck with Obama pins, t-shirts, and Chia Pets. “These Obama paper dolls aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on anymore,” said one victim of the bursting bubble.
Associated articles: Washington Post; New York Daily News; http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33063420/ns/politics-white_house/; http://bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aA6_py_71g_o; http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704107204574470961505506386.html; http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.a9c1d8758a5fc4e5ede14d5a3ec887ad.661&show_article=1
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
After 7 Months of Stimulus Spending, 6 Million Fewer Jobs Than Obama Promised; White House Says Jobs Not Lost, But Rather "People Fled the Country"
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
But according to former Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, "the reason tort reform is not in the bill is because the people who wrote it did not want to take on the trial lawyers," who give 95% of their political donations to Democrats.
Without the savings of tort reform, the bill raises the costs of health care paid by the lower and middle classes and imposes additional tax penalties on anyone who doesn't buy their own health insurance, otherwise known as the "health insurance mandate."
In response to critics, Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid announced a compromise in which a new "law degree mandate" would be added to the legislation that would require everyone to attend law school and become lawyers, or else face the same stiff tax penalties they would if they failed to buy health insurance.
"That way," said Reid, "everyone covered by the bill can enjoy the same unlimited right to file frivolous lawsuits against doctors and share in the vast waste of resources caused by our current system of jackpot justice." He added, "They can also contribute more money to the Democratic Party."
Associated article: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/oct/15/tort-reform-savings/
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Following those revelations, a federal judge overseeing the case declared the Obama "Hope" poster a "fraud" and "one humongous metaphor."
Associated article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091017/ap_en_mu/us_ap_poster_artist_24
Friday, October 16, 2009
White House Communications Director Who Says Killer of Tens of Millions is Her "Favorite Philosopher" Dismisses "Death Panel" Concerns
Anita Dunn -- the White House communications director who told high school students her favorite philosopher was Mao Tse-Tung, the Chinese communist leader who killed tens of millions of people -- dismissed charges that Democrats' health care proposals could lead to "death panels."
"That notion is absolutely ridiculous," she said. "It's not like the panel's power grows out of the barrel of a gun. Yet."
Associated video: http://hotair.com/archives/2009/10/15/video-fox-bashing-wh-mouthpiece-names-chairman-mao-as-her-favorite-philosopher/; The Independent
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Consequently, authorities are concerned now that the administration is supporting payments to seniors in an attempt to pacify them, and officials are warning the elderly to beware strange presidents with candy and $250 checks.
“We’ve seen increasing reports of a fellow in a black limousine, pulling up beside older people, and offering them lollipops and government checks,” said police. “We’re strongly urging folks to beware these tactics, for their own safety.”
Associated articles: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/14/AR2009101403954.html?hpid=topnews; http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/21/AR2009102102847.html; CNBC
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sesame Street, USA--As even the far-left Nation magazine calls President Obama the “Whiner-in-Chief” for his administration’s relentless avoidance of Fox News and its complaints that media outlets aren’t sufficiently fawning over his policies, Obama agreed to be interviewed by Elmo, via satellite, on the hard-hitting political debate program “Sesame Street.”
Associated articles: http://www.thenation.com/blogs/thebeat/483551/print; http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/oct/15/fox-hunting/?feat=home_editorials
Political Deal Results in Senate Committee Agreeing to Health Care Bill Taxing Poor and Middle-Class, Rich Agreeing to Release the Hounds
President Obama promised during the campaign that "If you're a family making less than $250,000 a year, my plan won't raise your taxes one penny -- not your income taxes, not your payroll taxes, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes." Despite that pledge, the health care bill Obama supports in the Senate would impose excise taxes that raise about $52 billion. Of that, about 87 percent of the revenue would come from individuals with incomes less than $200,000.
As one rich person pleased with the agreed-to revenue source said, "We all have to sacrifice for the goal of government-run health care. It was the least I could do to contribute my ravenous hounds."
Associated articles: http://www.aei.org/article/101152; http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704107204574471292249934348.html
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Schoolhouse Rock Revises "I'm Just a Bill" Cartoon to Account for Senate's "Conceptual" Health Care Legislation
In the new version of the cartoon, "Bill" has been renamed "Dieter," after a fictional West German expressionist art critic who was played by comedian Mike Myers on the show "Saturday Night Live."
Dieter showed little interest in the guests he interviewed on his talk show "Sprockets," just as the Senate committee voting on health care legislation seems little interested in the actual results of large-scale changes to the entire U.S. health care system.
In keeping with the "conceptual" theme of the Senate's "legislative" process, the new cartoon features Dieter responding to criticisms of the health care changes he personifies by saying "Your narrative has become tiresome," and, in some cases, simply yelling "Touch my monkey!" -- a reference to his pet monkey Klaus.
Producers of the revised episode acknowledged it might "freak some kids out," but they said they felt obligated to present "an accurate depiction of the Senate legislative process."
In announcing the new insurance line, an industry spokesperson said “The report makes clear that along with auto, life, and home insurance, people need to insure against the substantial risks of loss under really dumb laws.”
Associated articles: Business Week; http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/11/AR2009101102207.html?wprss=rss_politics; http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704107204574469100132608102.html
Monday, October 12, 2009
Green jobs supporters hailed the findings to justify "an American job recycling plan" in which two jobs from more productive sectors would be recycled to create each new job in a less productive sector.
If the findings in Spain are at all comparable to what could be expected from an American green jobs program, President Obama's promise to create 5 million green jobs will cost 11 million jobs in other sectors, and the medium-term increase in unemployment would be 6 million jobs.
Associated reports: http://www.juandemariana.org/pdf/090327-employment-public-aid-renewable.pdf; Washington Times; Politico; New York Times; Reuters
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Abstract Art Displayed at White House Includes “Rape of the Taxpayers,” “The Persistence of Obama,” and “The Change”
Friday, October 9, 2009
In accepting the award, Obama said his pitching prowess grew out of his bowling skills, which he infamously compared to "the Special Olympics" on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
The Baseball Writers Association also credited Obama with "introducing Mom jeans into the baseball wardrobe."
Associated video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss5Mn1amhfk&feature=player_embedded
Obama Accepts Preemptive Oscar for His Future Performance Accepting Nobel Peace Prize with Seemingly Authentic Humility
Hollywood, California--President Barack Obama was awarded a preemptive Academy Award for a future performance in which he will accept the Nobel Peace Prize with seemingly authentic humility.
Saturday Night Live Obama Impersonator Accepts Nobel Prize on Behalf of President, Says "What? This Wasn't a Joke?"
"Dude," said the comedian, "Mahatma Gandhi didn't even win the Nobel Peace Prize. Obama was nominated for it after just ten days in office."
The Reuters news services noted Obama has been president "less than nine months into his first term" and that he "has yet to score a major foreign policy success."
In receiving the award, Obama follows in the footsteps of other failed Democrats, including Jimmy Carter and Al Gore.
Associated article: http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSTRE5981JK20091009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Obama Afghan Cultural Adviser Tells General McChrystal She Doesn’t See Any Taliban-Al Qaeda Connections Through Burka
“But then again,” she said, “I can’t see much of anything through this burka.”
Associated articles: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_US_AFGHANISTAN?SITE=NMALJ&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT; http://www.longwarjournal.org/archives/2009/10/analysis_al_qaeda_is.php; http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/16/world/asia/16pstan.html?_r=2&th&emc=th
Consequently, a Senate committee can report out a "bill" that contains none of the statutory language that may ultimately be voted on by the full Senate.
To comport with the aesthetics of a "conceptual markup," Senator Max Baucus (D-MT), the Chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, led members in an "interpretive dance" that embodied each Senator's position on the provisions in the conceptual health care bill.
One political dance critic particularly admired "the contortions each Senator went through to convey the tenuous nature of their grasp on the significance of legislation that hasn't been written yet."
Associated articles: http://cboblog.cbo.gov/?p=387 (noting that the Congressional Budget Office's "analysis [of the legislation] is preliminary in large part because the Chairman's mark, as amended, has not yet been embodied in legislative language"); http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/politics/_Conceptual-language_-hides-health-care_s-cost-8365838-63891382.html
Tax Cheat Rangel Fends Off Challenge by 12-foot Alligator to Retain Tax Committee Chairmanship and "King of the Swamp" Title
Following his victory, Rangel thanked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for “keeping the swamp filled” despite her earlier promise to drain it. He credited the “rising swamp line” with allowing him the extra buoyancy he needed to gain the upper hand over his giant reptile rival.
As Democrats in the House later voted down a Republican-sponsored resolution that would have ousted him from his chairmanship, a slime-drenched Rangel shook the bloody alligator carcass over his head and repeatedly screamed “I’m king of this swamp!”
Aides said Rangel looked forward to moving legislation that would increase taxes on the rest of the American people, remarking “It’s good to be the swamp king.”
Associated articles: AP; http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/10/07/house-considers-resolution-oust-rangel-ways-means-committee-chair/
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Democrats Support More Federal Spending, Not Tax Cuts, to Stimulate Economy Because Individuals “Would Just Waste the Money on Star Wars Origami"
When asked why politicians should be expected to boost spending and spur demand for products and services any better than private citizens, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said "The average American has no idea how to spend their own money. If left to their own devices, they'd fold it up and make little X-wing and tie fighters, currency replicas of the Millennium Falcon, and tiny Yodas made of dollar bills -- anything but spending it on things they want and need."
Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid echoed those sentiments, saying "I cannot imagine American citizens would have the wherewithal to figure out how to use their own resources, other than by indulging in the frivolous Chinese pastime of decorative paper folding. Maybe not to make Star Wars stuff, but dragons and turtles and things like that."
Liberal economists agreed, citing statistics showing that every time money is spent by private citizens, it is spent on things they like, rather than on things the government likes.
"Consequently," Pelosi concluded, "it's the government that should be making spending decisions."
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Associated video: http://townhall.com/blog/g/84a3dac1-2df6-4c02-aedd-58dc66f2a302
Friday, October 2, 2009
"I want to thank the president for dropping the ball in a truly spectacular fashion that overshadows even my notorious gaffe," said Buckner.
Associated article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6859031.ece#cid=OTC-RSS&attr=797093; http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/03/sports/03olympics.html?hp
Administration officials defended the president's proposal to host the games in the enlarged ego section of his psychic apparatus, arguing that Obama's sense of self-importance is so strong it should have "overwhelmed the collective id of the International Olympic Committee."
"In the end," said one Olympic official, "the logistics of hosting the games in a figment of President Obama's imagination would have simply proven too costly when other real-world places were available to us."
Associated article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/02/AR2009100200550.html?hpid=topnews
Thursday, October 1, 2009
On the global warming tour, Duran Duran will revive the classic themes of its hit 1984 music video for “The Reflex” -- featuring humans in chains and remarkably fake-looking floods caused by imaginary rising water levels – to honor the often reflexive, knee-jerk acceptance of scientifically dubious global warming claims.
Associated articles: http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5iyAzv7fCgFLJDVt-S1PGzJwKMM6g; http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZmU0NDMzZTlkM2E5MDBhY2Q4N2ViYTFkNjVmNzU5NTc; http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2009/10/02/lawrence-solomon-the-end-is-near.aspx#
- ► 2010 (305)
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- ▼ October (38)